"This is another choice for me to make, to let him in. He longs for this ongoing relationship and he thankfully understands my struggles."
by Diane Reiber, artist and author of Light Collection
As I sleep, I blissfully forget the current state of our world and while it’s a nice reprieve, it’s all too brief. In the morning when I wake up, the heaviness of our current isolation and distancing from one another can then sneak in and hit me. When reality filters in, I can feel a sense of worry trying to grow in the pit of my stomach. This is the moment of choice. Do I talk about this and relate it all to God and be honest with him? Or do I let it grow and fester within me? He always has the answer and peace to follow.
The new adjustment of not being able to go to the church where I would frequently take my worries and pray is altogether different for many of us. I long to be together again in my parish as I realize we are all built for community, “so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another” (Romans 12:5).
My desire and need for receiving communion is felt as well. I am reminded though, that I can receive him in my heart right now. This is another choice for me to make, to let him in. He longs for this ongoing relationship and he thankfully understands my struggles.
Recently, in lieu of a church to worship him in, I have found a quiet place outdoors that I frequent, up on a hill overlooking a pond. My current church doesn’t have stained glass windows or pews. However, the light that I see now, is the very same light that pours through those windows in the church. I observe it moving through the clouds and producing rays of pinks and gold. It’s the same light I see moving on the ripples of the pond in my found sanctuary. The ripples are in sync with the prayers and praise in my heart, along with my worries, concerns and grief. The ripples feel as though they carry my thoughts to God. Peace and gratitude fill me as I take in his very creation displayed in front of me.
When we return to our lives similar to what we had before and are able to fall back into routines, I know this new place I’ve found will be calling for me to continue to come back. A new place to be intimate with our creator and another way He can touch my heart and I, in turn, can touch his.